It’s Christmas. Smithy and Cass have been called to a department store to deal with a shoplifter.
The two security guards report that one of the shoplifters got away, but they managed to catch the other. As one of the guards drags the shoplifter to his feet, the youth punches him in the stomach and escapes. Cass and Smithy give chase...
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The shoplifter grabs a shop assistant in the electrical department and puts an arm round her neck, throttling her. Cass tries to talk him out of it, while Smithy manages to get behind him and whacks him across the legs with his baton.
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The shop assistant falls backwards, landing on something soft (Smithy, who falls to the floor) while Cass gives chase to the shoplifter. They end up in the toy department, in Santa’s grotto.
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Santa takes exception to their presence, and tackles the shoplifter.
“That’s it! I’m arresting you for theft,” Cass cuffs the youth. “Thanks, Santa.”
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The security guards tells Smithy and Cass that the shoplifters bashed an assistant in the jewellery department on the head - that’s who the ambulance was called for.
They describe the suspect’s accomplice as a skinhead - white, 6 foot, jeans - and recall what happened. They couldn’t stop the skinhead because there were so many customers in the shop.
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The suspect admits to taking the rather expensive watches, but says the rest of it was made up - he claims to be working alone.
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Smithy suggests having a look at the CCTV tape before they go, but the security guard tells him that the system isn’t working. His mate tells them that there are no witnesses to the other suspect, other than the girl who got knocked out.
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Smithy arrives with the struggling suspect. “Keep still or you’re gonna hurt yourself,” says Smithy.
“You mean you’re going to hurt me?”
“Same difference.”
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Lizzie, the shop assistant who Smithy fell for (literally) comes out and offers Smithy a chance to take advantage of her. Well, her staff discount anyway - her way of saying ‘thank you’.
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Cass and Smithy hand over the shoplifting case to CID. Smithy remarks that there was something ‘not quite right’ about the security guards. He can’t put his finger on it though. Mickey is scathing about his hypothesis.
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Matt delivers lunch to Fraser Singleton, the shoplifter. “Luncheon is served,” he says, as polite as he can manage. Dripping with sarcasm though...
“Can I get some water?”
“Only if you use the magic word,” says Matt.
“Please.”
“Your wish is my command.” Matt closes the cell door.
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Mickey Webb and Duncan interview Fraser the shoplifter. He says he just stole the watches to raise enough cash to get back home to Glasgow for Christmas. He clearly thinks he’ll get sympathy from Duncan.
“I just wanted to get home for Christmas,” he says. “I wanted to be back with my family!”
“I know how you feel mate.” Duncan darts a glance at Mickey.
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Mickey is getting impatient as he waits for Duncan. He’s back in the cell talking to Fraser about Glasgow, including how he got barred from a pub after a mate’s stag night.
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Mickey moans to the B-relief custody sergeant, who’s tapping away at a computer. “Jocks,” he sighs. “If they all love Scotland so much why don’t they do us all a favour and go back there, eh? ...Where’re you from, sarge?”
“The sergeant glares at Webb. “Aberdeen, actually.”
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Mickey finally drags Duncan away from his prisoner. “So I felt sorry for the wee guy, what’s wrong with that?” Duncan asks.
“He’s guilty of conspiracy to rob and GBH, that’s what,” says Mickey.
“We don’t know that yet.”
“We haven’t finished our inquiries...”
Mickey’s mind is made up though, Fraser is guilty.
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At St Hugh’s, Duncan and Webbo talk to the shop assistant who got bashed on the head. She confirms that Fraser’s accomplice hit her from behind, and can’t identify him. She can’t be sure if Fraser was with anyone else because the shop was so busy.
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Santa has some information about the shoplifters - he’s having a break, and one of his elves is covering for him!
He describes the accomplice quite well, saying that he saw him talking to Fraser. He could tell they were up to something by their behaviour, but couldn’t tell them before because he had a queue of kiddies to tend to.
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In the cells, Duncan tells Fraser that he’s in court in the morning and is unlikely to get bail, as they can’t be sure he won’t run away. Fraser says he can stay with his parents if Duncan lends him some money.
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Outside, Webb doesn’t have much sympathy. “Don’t worry, they do a nice bit of turkey in Brixton.”
“You don’t care much about that wee guy, do you?” Duncan asks.
“No, I care more about the shop assistant,” says Mickey.
“It wasn’t his fault.”
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They continue as they walk down the corridor - Duncan says that Fraser should be with his family at Christmas time. Webb has had enough. He tells Duncan what Christmas meant for him - hiding behind the sofa, pleading with his parents to stop beating seven shades out of each other.
“Happy bloody Christmas, eh?” says Mickey. “Let’s go to this party.”
Episode guide originally published on sunhill.co.uk
The Bill (c) Copyright Thames TV
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