An Empty Plate In The Café Du Grand Bœuf is a comic tragedy in seven courses celebrating the joys of cooking, sex, bullfighting, and the collected works of Ernest Hemingway. No menu necessary at the world's greatest restaurant, the Café du Grand Boeuf in Paris. Why? "Because we have everything," headwaiter Claude admonishes waiter-in-training Antoine. On this hot July night in 1961, the two join waitress Mimi and chef Gaston in awaiting the imminent arrival of Victor, the Café's owner and sole patron. But when "Monsieur" returns, disheveled and morose, from the bullfights in Madrid, his wish is simple: to die of starvation at his own table. The frantic staff, whose very lives depend on Victor's appetite, try all means to change his mind, but to no avail. Finally, they make a last-ditch plea: out of respect for their life's work, will he let them prepare one final meal--provided they leave it in the kitchen? Instead they will describe it, course by course, over a series of empty platters. Victor consents, and the feast of adjectives and adverbs begins...

World premiere, Arden Theatre Company (1994); New York premiere, Primary Stages (2000); London premiere, Indelible Theatre,Ltd. (1998); Stamford Theatre Works (2001); Berkshire Theatre Festival (1998); Access Theatre (1997); Bloomsburg Theatre Ensemble (1995); Cricket Theatre (1995); Salt Lake Acting Company (1995); PlayLabs conference workshop (1994)